"tis better to have loved and lost..."

But IS it, guys, is it?? I've noticed that it is really, really hard (spiritually speaking) to be happy and have happiness taken away from you.

Yesterday our 90 yr old neighbor came over to talk and just wept and wept.

Some people haven't seen very much happiness in this life. Never had a stable home, or assurance of the next meal, or opportunity to thrive in their work, or friends... or just, you know, happiness.

But yesterday as I listened to her talk about her life and her kids and her grandkids and her past and death and everything... I suddenly thought, "Oh my gosh, she used to be happy."

What a crazy test for us! God is a God who gives and takes away... and gives again (but can we see it?) After great loss, are our eyes still turned to God? Is our heart still soft when there's nobody in the world who would blame you for getting hardened?

A few weeks ago I heard someone talk about getting older, aging AND God's seemingly contradictory promise of being made new, morning by morning. How can you expect newness when you're old?

This week I read about Michal, a princess who got to marry the dashing guy she loved, but then he left her! Then she found love again, someone who truly loved her... and she lost him. After all that pain something truly beautiful happened to her: the presence of God came to her house. And she couldn't see it. She was so blinded, she got angry instead.

I dreamt about Naomi, a woman who had a beautiful family, but witnessed the death of her husband and both children. Here is a woman changed her name to "Bitter", but in the end she let her whole life be turned around by God. In the end she wasn't bitter after all but soft-hearted.

My hope for my elderly neighbor, for me, for you~ that we'd be like Naomi. Maybe bitter in the moment but in the end, available.