Pants-lex

(the title of this blog post was created + requested by Michelle Kao)
(ALSO:: WARNING::: readers beware, especially readers who don't like to read about how gross I am otherwise known as Mom!)

I bought some new pants last week. I have had so many problems with pants:

1) When I first moved here I was a little rounder than I am now (I call it the Diarrhea Diet! *not recommended*) so after a couple months, the only pants that fit me were a spare pair I found in a mothball filled box left by a previous missionary. So my pants became Jen's Pants (she was planning a visit back here to see friends and collect her old stuff and I was like... "noooooooo!!! my only pants!!!" the "my" part being figurative.) So when I went back to America I bought 2 pairs of jeans... BUT... read on.

2) No less than THREE pairs of pants that I own (and I don't own that many pairs of pants) are ripped in... well lets just say if pants CAME ripped in this place they would be sold in a certain kind of store that I would not go to.

3) Ants. I don't know why they love living in my clothes, but I am not kidding you, my legs look like they have chicken pox from all the bites. At home I groaned, "My pants are an ant farm!" and then michelle starting singing that statement to the tune of "your body is a wonderland" by john mayer. which is both disgusting and true. :-( :-( :-(

4) In a possibly related complaint, I cannot go a single day without spilling food on my pants at least once. Which makes for a lot of LAUNDRY, which I am not willing to do every day, so

I needed more pants. Luckily, I found an American-owned store (right sizes for my American bod!) that is going out of business so I got jeans on clearance. what a relief!
thanks for listening friends.