May

I guess everyone who reads this blog knows that I love May, a girl in my neighborhood who has been a close friend and constant presence at mealtimes, churchtimes, walking around the neighborhood times, any times.... She'll be twelve this year. A year and a half ago I blogged about saying goodbye to her mother, who passed away of liver disease.

Six days ago, May's father unexpectedly died while she and her brother Doi were at school. Lote had been drinking the night before and didn't eat breakfast... nothing unusual but this day was just the one day that his tiny body couldn't take it anymore.

The next few days were a whirlwind for the family-- two step-daughters (May's older half-sisters) who live in factory apartments in another part of Bangkok swooped to sort through clothes, put together the funeral, arrange for care for the kids. The funeral started the next day, all the family members scrambling for clean black clothes to wear for the next three days.

Monday, the culmination of the funeral, I just couldn't keep it together. i cried all morning at the office. I started praying if there was any possibility that May could stay with us... I know it's not good for a kid to be separated from her family. But what if it was only till the end of the school term (one month)? Then she could stay around her friends, her neighborhood, her family here, her school, her church.... I couldn't tell whether my concern was more for her for me, I would miss her just so much.

But I'd never want to split her up from her brother. I know honestly Michelle and I couldn't handle caring for him, although we love him, so if there wasn't already a family in our same neighborhood offering to care for him, I wouldn't feel right about saying anything...

That night, after the funeral, I knew the plan was to send the kids to a different province, 3 hours away, to live with an aunt I'd never met. I rushed to pack an overnight bag and went over to see if I could ride the bus with them, go along to send them to their new home and give my phone number to their new guardian.

But when I asked May's half-sister when the kids were leaving she said, "Oh it's just going to be May. Doi is going to stay here with Uncle Yang (who lives right near our house)."
Uncle Yang walked in at that moment, as may was packing her back-pack, and explained how he could take in Doi but it was just too much to take in May, too. They'd have to send her away.
I looked at Michelle. We consulted with each other for maybe 3 minutes and turned back to the relatives. "I want to ask... if it's not too much trouble... would it be possible for May to say with us? Just until the end of the term? If you think it's good for her. Of course it's the family's decision."
...........................

So May is staying with us, for at least a month. I love having her. I was so relieved and joyful after this happened. I felt like, you know when you feel really sore and tired and you do some stretches or yoga and your chest expands, your heart gets bigger? That's what it felt like.
There are a million questions. What does she need? When we do treat May and when do we say no? How independent is she? How can we keep up good relationships with her family here in the neighborhood? What happens after this month? If we go out, can we take her along? How will she do around English-speaking friends? How do I need to change my schedule?
Yesterday she was sick. We went to work anyway, after setting her up by the TV with a fan and sports drinks and stomach medicine. Ba Jaew came over later in the morning with fever medicine. Jin came by just to check and see how she's doing. There's so much more HELP and safety nets in a communal society and since we love May so much it doesn't feel like a sacrifice... it feels like God's gift... but it's also feels like totally uncharted territory, we really don't know what we're doing here!